Learning how to deal with difficult people

Dr A.R Bernard

Today I was reading Dr AR Bernard's Facebook. Interestingly there's 3 notes that I haven't read from him and it's very interesting. It talks about "Learning how to deal with difficult people." I believe that all of us have encountered difficult people in our lives. Well I have compiled his notes into my blog and I want to share it with you. =)

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Bad temper is contagious - don't get infected.

Proverbs 22:25 MSG

Learning the art of happiness means learning how to deal with difficult people.  After all, even the most saintly among us can be difficult to deal with at times.  So it's inevitable that, from time to time, you'll encounter folks who behave inappropriately in the same way, or worse.

If you have occasion to deal with difficult people, remember the following tips:

1.  Make Sure That You're Not the One Being Difficult: Perhaps the problems that concern you have their origin, at least partially, within your own heart.  If so, fix yourself first (Philippians 2:3).

2. Don't Lecture: Lectures inevitably devolve into nagging; nagging creates animosity, not lasting change.  Since nagging usually creates more problems than it solves, save your breath (Proverbs 15:1)

3. Don't Become Caught Up in the Other Person's Emotional Outbursts: If someone is ranting, raving, or worse, you have the right to get up and leave.  Remember: Emotions are highly contagious, so if the other person is angry, you will soon become angry, too.  Instead of adding your own emotional energy to the outburst, your should make the conscious effort to remain calm-and part of remaining calm may be leaving the scene of the argument (Proverbs 22:24-25).

4. Stand Up for Yourself: If you're being mistreated, either physically, emotionally, or professionally, it's time to start taking care of yourself.  But remember that standing up for yourself doesn't require an angry outburst on your part.  You can (and probably should) stand up for yourself in a calm, mature, resolute manner.  And you should do so sooner rather than later (Psalm 27:1).

5. Be Quick to Forgive: If you can't find it in your heart to forgive those who have hurt you, you're hurting yourself more than you're hurting anyone else.

A Simple Step

Insist upon logical consequences to irresponsible behavior.  When you protect other people from the consequences of their misbehavior, you're doing those folks a profound disservice.  Most people don't learn new behaviors until the old behaviors stop working, so don't be an enabler (Hebrews 12:5-6).

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WOW!!! I'm truly inspired by his notes and it's very relevant in one's life. I was just talking to my dad earlier and it was telling me his problems and that his children don't really care about him. Well it's not true. We do care, it's just some communication problem and a generation gap. We don't see things on the same angle. I love my dad and respect him for who he is. He has been dealing with some difficult people and I believe that this note came just in time. I hope by sharing these tips to you, your life will be improved too. If you want to know more about Dr AR Bernard, you can wiki him or you can go on his website.